Rend Your Heart

And rend your heart and not your garments. Return to the Lord your God, for He is gracious and compassionate, slow to anger, abounding in loving kindness, and relenting of evil. ~Joel 2:13

One of the main themes throughout the P31 She Speaks conference was "God is big enough". Over and over we heard beautiful stories of God's provision and amazing work despite their human efforts, despite their human failures. This only comes about when one walks in faith...not skipping in and out, but step-by-step focuses on Jesus no matter the circumstances. It is walking in faith even when we slip from a sin or failure. Which reminds me-July 1st Lelia will be hosting "What Happens When Women Walk in Faith" blog Bible study from Lysa TerKeurst book. Click on the book in my side bar to get to her blog site for this study and join us as we walk this path of faith in a new and improved way!

I believe it was Wendy Pope who referenced the verse above from Joel. I felt drawn to this verse because it is what I want to be...gracious, compassionate, slow to anger, abounding in loving kindness, relenting of evil. Relenting of evil? "Relenting" in the Hebrew Bible is 'naw-kham' and means "to be sorry, be moved to pity, repent of". Yes, that is my heart-it has been moved to pity, I have been sorry for my failures, and daily I repent of the sins that I commit. In doing this-relenting evil, each one of those characteristics listed in this verse will develop as one walks in faith.

What really captured my mind within this verse though was the word "rend". It nagged at my thoughts...what is it to rend? The Hebrew word for rend is 'Kawrah', which means "to rip apart, to tear in pieces". What a powerful descriptive word. When a person in the Old Testament was remorsed or grieving, they would tear their clothes to display their pain. The symbolism, our prophet Joel states here, is the same as we deal with our sins, our failures, our pain. The writing of the book of Joel occurred at a time when God had been forsaken by His people. He instructed them to "rend" their hearts and to come back to Him. He was saying, "let your heart be broken"...ahhh, broken. Have you ever been broken? Spiritually broken? It's a beautiful thing, painful, but beautiful.

God today is calling us to brokenness, to be ripped apart from sin. It is in this state of living that we find we can be gracious, compassionate, slow to anger, abounding in love, and relenting of evil. It is in the state of living that we can be broken and beautiful at the same time. It is a part of being real in our faith-authentic, transparent, as was demonstrated in the testimonies of the P31 ministry team. It is what will make us better at seeing and hearing our Lord in all things. Rend your heart daily and relent evil! Live graciously and compassionately! Be slow to anger and full of love!!

Lord, I choose to walk in faith, and to love you and your word compassionately. I choose to live in brokenness so that I may be humble enough to know your presence in my life. I choose to seek you each day, in all things, to focus on your light and not the shadows of what I have been or where I have been. I chose to be transformed so that I can go out and fulfill your calling. I am yours Lord, totally amazed at what you have done in my life and completely in awe at the power of your presence and work in and through me. I am your servant. Use me.

Broken and beautiful...

Journey to She Speaks...

What a pivotal moment in my faith walk this conference has been. There were so many beautiful, broken ,yet redeemed women present only because God has worked in and through their lives in amazing ways. And like me, they wanted to wash the feet of Jesus with their lives. It was such a joy to meet my blogger friends and the P31 ministry team-they all were so real, so spiritually real. My camera is broke so when I am sent some pictures, I will post them. There is so much to share so I will have to break it down in several post as God leads me.

I felt God direct me to prepare myself mentally and spiritually for this conference and what He had planned for me to take from it. If you have read my previous blogs, I "mind fasted" in an attempted to empty my "self" to allow for more of God to enter. What a blessed disciplined act this ended up being. As I ventured through this door God placed before me, I was ready because I was focused on hearing Him and see Him...

I know your deeds. See, I have placed before you an open door that no one can shut. I know that you have little strength, yet you have kept my word and have not denied my name.~Rev. 3:8

As I sat on the plane ready for take-off, I was overwhelmed with a wonderful sense of peace and calm. God's peace. I would have thought I would be excited but the calm was so strong. I closed my eyes and prayed, leaving my "self", my past sins that weighed me down, the emotions of regret and remorse, the attitudes of unforgiveness and resentment-all left there on that runway. I wasn't allowing it to follow me to this conference. God made it clear through His handiwork and blessings over the last few months that He wanted me there and He had a purpose for me there. I was determined to meet Him there and to find out His plan.

I was captured from the opening message-it was just for me. It was about the Samaritan women being called to lead others to Christ. All the other sessions either confirmed what I had been doing or gave me a clearer message of what I needed to work on in my life. My spiritual cup was over flowing. I saw God. I heard God. I am humbled and I have been again blessed. Saturday night I was given the opportunity to lay down the garbage that has been keeping me from serving God as He desired from me. Though I had left the garbage behind, I knelled at that cross confirming to God my commitment to let it go and to press forward focused only on Him. Though my eyes were wet with from the sacredness of the moment, my heart was overjoyed, excited! I was handed a scripture card from one of the P31 ministry leaders and it spoke exactly how I felt-SECURED. Where has this verse been all my life? It is so beautiful....

"Let the beloved of the LORD rest secure in him, for He shields him all day long, and the one the LORD loves rests between his shoulders." ~Deuteronomy 33:12

As I sat on the plane leaving North Carolina, this renewed 'MrsJoeB' felt a surge of resilience. As the plane engines reeved up and our speed quickly increased for the take off, I again lifted my heart up in prayer. With tears in my eyes and knowing satan is waiting and set to attack, I felt like screaming out "CHARGE!"...and I did in my heart. I am a women who passionately loves my Lord and His Word and I am better equipped with more of Him and less of me to walk in this journey of faith and ministry!! I will share more of the highlights in the coming days as I want to explore them more to scripture and to God's word.

Lord, I have seen you and I have have heard you. Most importantly, I am choosing to follow hard after you. Only because of You and only in You can I charge forward! May I be a testimony of your amazing grace and power. Amen.

Truths to live by

My heart and mind has been focused on this "mind fasting" as I prepared to leave for the She Speaks conference. Today I leave and I I am ready!! Satan has been hitting me with a lot of "untruth"-thoughts that bring me down but I have been faithful to counteract them before they have a chance to take hold. It truly is a battle!! But I awoke this morning with a sense of peace and calm. I am ready "to arrive" at this conference and at what He has prepared for me...even for me to become.

As I have explored this concept of mind fasting, God has been planting plenty around me related just to this subject to keep me focused and to help me grow. As I posted a few blogs back, Jennifer Rothschild has written a book "Self Talk, Soul Talk" and so I picked it up and started to read it over the last couple of days. Before doing this, I had planned to post on my next blog the "truths" we find in scripture that we can live be. Well, Jennifer has done this already!! She has a blog (http://www.selftalksoultalk.com/) to go along with her book and on her blog she had the following "truths to live by". So I leave you her work to mediate on while I'm gone. I know I am taking these with me and meditating on them myself. Enjoy this and then stop by and visit Jennifer's blog!

Here’s some truth to plant within your heart:

I am a new creation. (II Cor. 5:17)
I am forgiven. (Eph. 1:6-8)
I am gifted with power, love and a sound mind. (II Tim. 1:7)
I am chosen for success. (Jn. 15:16)
I am complete. (Col. 2:9-10)
I am secure. (Rom. 8:31-39)
I am confident. (Phil. 1:6)
I am free. (Rom. 6:18; 8:1)
I am capable. (Phil 4:13)
I am spiritually alive. (Eph. 2:5)
I am God’s workmanship. (Eph. 2:10)
I am welcome in God’s presence. (Eph. 2:18; Heb. 4:14-16)
I am sheltered and protected in God. (Col. 3:3)
I am valuable to God. (I Cor. 6:20)
I am a member of God’s family. (I Jn. 3:1-2; Eph. 2:19)
I am God’s treasure. (I Pet. 2:9-10)
I am dearly loved. (Col. 3:12)
I am being transformed. (II Cor. 3:18)
I am an heir of God. (Rom. 8:17)
I am a friend of God. (Jn. 15:15)
I am given spiritual blessings. (Eph. 1:3)
I am God’s delight. (Zeph. 3:17)
I am invited to confidently draw near to God. (Eph. 3:12)

I have these verses copied out on a word document if you want me to e-mail then to you. They are such a sweet reminder of who we are in Christ and our relationship with Him. Be blessed!! I'll comment again after I come back on the 22nd.

Entrapped

A trap seizes him by the heel; a snare holds him fast.

~Job 18:9

Tonight my husband and I sat on the back patio with our dinner, just the two of us. Two girls are at cheerleading camp, one at her fathers, one at the pool and the other upstairs asleep exhausted from today's sun from being at the pool earlier. As we were enjoying this beautiful summer evening, my husband noticed that a bird was trapped in the neighbors new chimney cover they had placed yesterday. I could only watch for a few seconds as the bird worked to break through without success. It was so sad and my heart broke for this little creature. By the time we had finished eating, the bird had finished trying...at least for the moment. My husband question why the bird had not tried to escape when the neighbors boys were putting this covering on. I can only imagine she has a nest in there and she was doing what God created her to do.

I keep thinking of this bird. The neighbors are gone. I hinted for my husband to go over and release the bird. Of course this would not be an easy task climbing upon her roof. Most likely if there is a nest, the bird wouldn't leave anyway. It may be too exhausted to fly at this point. It made me think of life. How many things ensnare us, prevent us from living in the truth we were created to live in. How many sins dominate our lives until we are encaged, too exhausted to care or fight.

Psalm 31:4 Free me from the trap that is set for me, for you are my refuge.

I am so thankful my God can free me of the traps I find myself in. I am grateful He is not afraid of heights and that nothing can keep Him from me.

Psalm 141:9 Keep me from the snares they have laid for me, from the traps set by evildoers.

No matter what satan throws my way, God can and will protect me. I am called to walk in faith and to trust Him in this.

Luke 21:34 "Be careful, or your hearts will be weighed down with dissipation, drunkenness and the anxieties of life, and that day will close on you unexpectedly like a trap."

If I keep focused on Him, I will not be tempted to become trapped by what the world has to offer. If I turn my focus to Him when in my weakness I fall into a trap, I will see see the way out. It is called grace. It's called love.

Proverbs 11:6 The righteousness of the upright delivers them, but the unfaithful are trapped by evil desires.

Loving and seeking God will keep me pure and only then will God use me to help keep others from falling into the snares and traps of satan and this world. My testimony can speak volumes of God's grace, love, and forgiveness.

1 Timothy 3:7 He must also have a good reputation with outsiders, so that he will not fall into disgrace and into the devil's trap.

As I asked the youth Sunday school class yesterday, "When you walk outside the church doors, what does your life say about your testimony for God? How are you living out Jesus in your life?" If we do not live consciously aware of our testimony, how easy it will be for us to be entrapped over and over again because our focus is not on God but ourself.

2 Timothy 2:26 and that they will come to their senses and escape from the trap of the devil, who has taken them captive to do his will.

Is something entrapping you today from being fully what God has created you to be? Is something clouding your vision of God's plan for your life? Is there a cage holding you in, confined to satans lies and this world? Come to your senses! Call on the One that is all powerful and He will rescue you and save you from death.

Father, there have been plenty of times when I have been like this dear sweet bird, entrapped because I thought I was were I was suppose to be. Father, many times I have tried to do it on my own and tried to free myself from the messes I have made with out success. Many times I have given up exhausted.

I praise you for the many times you have been there to lift the cage and rescue me. I thank you for the protection, grace, and guidance you now give me as I walk this life of faith, seeking to honor you. Father, keep me from being this bird...encaged to sin. I choose to live in your freedom. I choose to live in Your graces~Pamela

"Mind Fasting" continues...

It seems that this concept of "mind fasting" is a serious one. God has done nothing but plants statements, words, and thoughts in front of me since I have started it. It is not a new concept. Maybe my way of describing it-mind fasting-is. As a nurse, I could give you so much overwhelming information about the genetic makeup of our minds, the intricate detail of it's function. Really, it is more than we can comprehend. Our brains are truly the most important aspect of this body God created. Our brain controls and manages everything we do, say, or think. Our brain is more detailed than this lap top I am writing on. The power of the mind is amazing and we all have come to know how dangerous it can be. Lets explore this concept of why "mind fasting" is necessary in our life from within the pages of the Bible!!

1. Our mind controls our thoughts. For most of us, the negative thoughts outweigh the positive. The more we feed into our mind, the more we become of what we feed into it...

For as he thinks within himself, so he is.

~Proverbs 23:7 (NASB)

2. If you are like me, there's a daily war going on with those unwanted, negative thoughts! How often do we live in the control of those unwanted thoughts? Choosing to allow the negative thoughts in gives sin power in our life!

But there is another power within me that is at war with my mind. This power makes me a slave to the sin that is still within me. ~Romans 7:3 (NLT)

3. Satan wants us to live in those sinful negative thoughts-the untruth he plants in our mind. A women who chooses to say YES to God and live in God's truth can overcome satan and these negative thoughts he plants in our mind. How?

Set your mind on the things above, not on the things that are on earth.

~Colossians 3:2 (NASB)

4. It requires us to live in obedience to God. We have to choose God's way or the worlds way of thinking. We have to renew our minds continuously to avoid the destruction of satan's lies when we internalized those negative thoughts in our minds...

Do not be conformed to this world (this age), [fashioned after and adapted to its external, superficial customs], but be transformed (changed) by the [entire] renewal of your mind [by its new ideals and its new attitude], so that you may prove [for yourselves] what is the good and acceptable and perfect will of God, even the thing which is good and acceptable and perfect [in His sight for you].

~Romans 12:2 (Amplified)

5. Joanna Weaver in her book "Having a Mary Spirit" (pp.118) writes about the negative self talk we impose on our self and allow satan to feed into us. She write we have to first recognize this thought as a sin, refuse to accept or believe the thought, reckon the thought as being dead (don't dwell on it or respond to it), rest in knowing you are in Christ and Christ is in you, and remind your self daily of who you are in Christ so you can walk more confidently and in more control of your minds functions. It takes commitment, perseverance and obedience. We have to train our mind as we train our self when working out for better health.

We demolish arguments and every pretension that sets itself up against the knowledge of God, and we take captive every thought to make it obedient to Christ.

~2 Corinthians 10:5 (NIV)

You were taught, with regard to your former way of life, to put off your old self, which is being corrupted by its deceitful desires; to be made new in the attitude of your minds; and to put on the new self, created to be like God in true righteousness and holiness.

~Ephesians 4:22-24 (NIV)

6. We are not alone in this effort to control our mind. God will provide us with the Holy Spirits aid to help us by bringing memory recall to our minds when we are being weaken to the sinful thoughts of satans lies and untruths...

But the Counselor, the Holy Spirit, whom the Father will send in my name, will teach you all things and will remind you of everything I have said to you.

~John 14:26 (VIV)

7. More beautiful then any other thought here is that we have been created in God's image and we have the potential to be of the same mind as Christ. It is what I want, how about you? We have to soak in the Scriptures and those teaching that are of God in order for this to happen. We have to examine who we are in Christ and cling to those concepts!

For who has known the mind of the Lord that he may instruct him?" But we have the mind of Christ.

~I Corinthians 2:16

Let this mind be in you which was also in Christ Jesus

~Philippians 2:5 (NKJV)

Jennifer Rothschild has a new book out "Self Talk, Soul Talk: What to Say When You Talk to Yourself". I haven't has a chance to read it completely yet. Along with the book I mentioned above, both these books will serve as good resources in this matter of controlling our minds!!!

Mind Fasting. Something to think about!!

It's time for a "Mind Fast"

The She Speaks conference I am attending is the end of next week. I am so excited as I sense God has something big planned for me. As I told a blogger friend, He may reveal where He wants me to go within ministry, He may ask me to go nowhere, but I sense He will be so alive and present in this event. I am readying myself as satan seems to be hitting from a variety of directions. I know I am not alone in this attack as other blogger friends have voiced the same concerns.

I notice my mind has been out of focus, even in some of my quiet times. Satan is trowing all kinds of things my way. The financial is trying but more troubling is the unrest he has been putting in my heart and mind. Driving to get my girls from their grandparents the other day (2.5 hour drive one way) I focused my time in prayer and meditation. I sensed during this quiet drive that God was telling me I needed to focus my mind on Him more. So, it's "Mind Fast" time. I am fasting with my mind-staying clear of anything that would clutter it with something other than those things of God. It's not easy...turning off the TV (I miss the morning news and HGTV) and zoning out the radio except for Christian channels (knowing my teenagers will think I have gone mad. Seriously, how can I expect them not to channel hop while taking them to their destination?). I want to prepare myself , body, mind and spirit, for Him at this conference. . .

As I was writing the above paragraph getting ready to seek your prayers for a burden that had been placed on me "against" this conference, God moved mightily!! As my husband and I was conversing through e-mail this morning about how we would handle this "issue" Joe had stated "lets wait and see what God will do". BAM!! Issue resolved while I was writing this post. God has provided again!! I sat at my desk crying, humbled and awed that He could be so good...to me...the one who seeks Him daily but continues to fall short.

Our God is good, so very good!! Do pray for this event. Pray for the speakers and workers who have put this conference together. Pray for those of us attending. Pray for the ladies who are there with dreams of writing a book, for those of us who are there seeking to hear His instruction as a leader or speaker. Pray a movement will literally be heard throughout the states as hearts and minds are brought closer to Him and His eternal call specific to each of us!!

Lord, you know our deeds. Your know our mind, you know our hearts. As we ready our inner self for this conference, we know that you have placed an open door in our path, a door you have destined for us to enter. We can only go through that door, this calling, with you beside us. We need your strength and guidance. We cling to your Word and praise your name for what you are about to do in and through each and everyone of us. Make way the path Lord...we are coming to see You. We are coming to hear You. Most of all, we are coming to grow in our commitment to your calling for our life. It is all about You and we love You Lord!

My verse for this conference...

I know your deeds. See, I have placed before you an open door that no one can shut. I know that you have little strength, yet you have kept my word and have not denied my name.
~Rev. 3:8

The meaning of Paisley...

Since I was a teenager I have loved the paisley design. My devotional chair is a red and gold paisley. I have several clothes items in this design. In fact my husband thinks I need to let up on this wardrobe design. This morning I thought I would explored this design. Is there any significance to "paisley"?

I found that it is considered one of the most recognized patterns in the world. The twisted "tear-drop" pattern is Persian (Iranian) in origin, but its western name derives from the town of Paisley, in central Scotland, a place I hope to visit one day. In Indian culture, the paisley was originally an illiterate way for village people to communicate that it was harvest time. It is the 1009 name in popularity for use as a first name and it means "church" (loving it!)

The tear drop pattern does represent my life. But these tears have also brought rebirth and joy into my life, but only through the grace of God. It reminds me of how God can take something painful, whether of my own doing or the actions of someone else, and turn it into something beautiful. He is doing that in my life, satan is not real happy about this right now and the pressure is on...

For You have delivered my soul from death, My eyes from tears, And my feet from falling.

~Psalms 116:8

Paisley means church-is that not what we are called to be? We are to be the church of Christ, of the same mind as God, a servant used to draw others to Him, our bodies a temple of Christ. What are you filling your church with? What gives you the energy and strength to fulfill God's plan for your life? If we are called to be of the same mind as Christ, then what feeds your mind?

Or do you not know that your body is the temple of the Holy Spirit who is in you, whom you have from God, and you are not your own?

~1 Corinthians 6:19

For the Indian culture, paisley symbolized harvest time. Look around you. Is it not harvest time? Where is Christ in this world? How are you showing Him to all those around you that do not know Him? What is your field of harvest? Your family? Your work? Your faith community?

Then He said to His disciples, “The harvest truly is plentiful, but the laborers are few."

~Matthew 9:37

We all have our special calling in ministry. For some it is to teach, to lead, others to serve and edify, and even some to disciple, to provide mercy and intercession. Whatever your gift is, God is calling us now to be His church, His temple. The harvest is ready. Let's make Christ love the most recognized pattern of life in this world!!