What Kind of Weight does it Carry in Eternity?

Seriously...where did this year go? Personally, I am really glad it is almost over. It has been a rough year and I am starting into this new year of 2011 with a dark shadow of a cloud surrounding me. I don't want it but it seems to be lingering and it appears God's timing for it to dissipate is not yet. I will tolerate it...is that the wrong attitude? If I embrace it I may find myself in a deep depression. I am praying hard that it is going to get better. My faith that God is in control is my hope for a better 2011.

Anyway, this is the time of year when I start planning, searching, praying, and creating a spiritual goal for the new year. Part of that process is reviewing the past years spiritual goal and evaluating how I did (that's the educator part of me...evaluating everything). I went here to do that. Though there has been a lot of pain in this 2010 year, my heart smiled as I read through the God-planted goal of my soul in the beginning of 2010.

I feel I did good on my goal of being faithful, however, maybe not so good with the praise goal. As darkness filled my life this past year, I was faithful to cling to my scripture memory cards, faithful to my quiet time with God, and faithful in our women's ministry. If I had not been faithful in these areas I would have been in a horrible depression. A darkness may surround me but it is not getting into my inner being. Maybe if I had been more faithful in my goal of praising Him this darkness would be gone. These last couple of months I have been singing that beloved hymn "How Great Thou Art" as I begin my morning drive to work. It's a great way to set the tone of my heart as I head into a job that hasn't matched up to my expectations.

I am asking God what He needs from me in this new year. I will continue to memorize scripture. I am thinking about beefing it up to one verse a week from one verse every two weeks or 15 days. Memorizing scripture has become the oxygen my heart and soul needs to survive. Recently I came across a verse that grab me so tight and should encourage us all as we look ahead to 2011:

May the Lord lead your hearts into a full understanding and expression of the love of God and the patient endurance that comes from Christ. ~2 Thes 3:5 (New Living Translation)

A "full understanding"....that's what I want. It's what we all want, right? We know Him, We know of Him, but to know Him more...better...fuller. To know Him is to be able to grasp, truly grasp His love for us, for the worst of sinners (of which I am one), saved, and redeemed through His sons blood...because of love, God's love. From a manger to a cross...I want to love like that...to love my family like God loves me. Honestly, I am not being the wife and mother I need to be. God has laid this thought on my heart and this verse has prompted me towards changing that.As I look back over the frustrations and delights of this past year, I am sadly reminded of the many times that I was selfish. I missed radiating God's love as I chose not to be prompted by it in those moments. To know Him is to live Him, to live out His love. I want to do that in this new year.

But we cannot leave out the last part of that verse..."the patient endurance that comes from Christ". I know better than to pray for patience. If you have ever prayed for this you know the struggle that can result in one's life! Yet, I implore you to think of the patient life Christ lived and then imagine what God patiently goes through with us (probably a daily basis if we are honest here). His patience is best described as an active verb participle (did I say that right?). I mean to describe it this way...it is an action demonstrated by Christ life and spelled "G-R-A-C-E".

I guess as I look ahead into 2011, to know the fullness of God's love requires me to also examine the patient endurance modeled by his Son while here on this earth. It requires a worthy reflection and meditation on my part throughout this new year, and maybe on your part also. I may be surrounded by a dark cloud as I walk into 2011 but as with 2010, God is with me. He has a plan.

I was so encouraged as I continued to research this verse and found this translation from the New International Readers Version:

May the Lord fill your hearts with God's love.

May Christ give you the strength to go on.

Hello! Better than chocolate (or coffee in my case) and just what this pre-menopausal women needed to guard against that looming darkness. This new year is God asking you to focus even more fully on Him and His Son?

More of Him, less of me.

The Lord is my strength and shield. I trust him with all my heart. He helps me, and my heart is filled with joy. I burst out in songs of thanksgiving. ~ Ps 28:7 (NLT)

I challenge you to examine your heart and seek God in what He wants of you in 2011. New Year resolutions often fail, right? Since I have given these past "New Years" a spiritual focus verses a resolution focus I have only grown stronger in my faith. It's been pretty amazing. What it all comes down to with these goals we set...losing weight, eating better, committing to a new task like memorizing scripture....is that you have to ask yourself "what kind of weight does it carry in eternity?"-right?

I am embracing 2011 and all that God has planned for me. I continue to seek his plan for me and I so desire to be a better servant for Him, as well as a better wife and mother. I have God on my side and His Word in my heart and mind.

Again I ask...what is God calling you to in 2011?

Believing Him~Pamela

That was then...this is now...

Last night I was channel-surfing to avoid all the election broadcast (yes I voted but I am good to wait until the morning for the results). I landed on the show "The Walton's". Remember that show? Can you hum the tune?

Just looking at this house gives me such a warm feeling of a peace most of us don't experience today and a comfort that has been lost with the innovation of our civilization. This TV series represents how it is suppose to be, and how I want my home to be. This structure represents "home" for me, a time though simpler and maybe more difficult, so full of family.

Last nights episode took me back to a childhood that was similar to these lives...godly parents, discipline, values, rules, responsibility, and family togetherness. One of my grandparents had a farmhouse that was similar to this one. I could smell the home-grown food cooking in the kitchen, the smell of that fresh country air, and I could feel the absence of today's busyness and related anxieties. So many emotions flooded over me that the end of the show actually left tears in my eyes and an ache in my heart.

The kids fought each other but they loved each other more...

They disobeyed their parents but they also respectfully submitted to their punishment (which last night Ellen got caught smoking in the shed with her male cousin and had to memorize 10 Bible verses before supper!)....

There was no back talk (that would have cost her another 5 verses!)....

They sacrificed for each other...

They ate together...listened to the radio together...did chores together...

For the most part they were content with what they had or what they earned...

They respected each other, they respected themselves, and they respected their bodies...

Most importantly, God was a vital part of their life, He was expected to be.

Fix these words of mine in your hearts and minds; tie them as symbols on your hands and bind them on your foreheads. Teach them to your children, talking about them when you sit at home and when you walk along the road, when you lie down and when you get up. Write them on the doorframes of your houses and on your gates, so that your days and the days of your children may be many in the land the LORD swore to give your ancestors, as many as the days that the heavens are above the earth.~Deut 11:18-21

Grief...what has happen to America? Could it be.....

I mean seriously.....is this what over 50% of our families have come into (mine included)? I am afraid I have watched a few episodes in this series too and found it amusing and humorous until I decided to look at it as God would. Is God laughing?

I am shamefully grieved at my own families failures...divorce, broken homes, loss of respect, compromised values, and a tolerance of world views has definitely invaded our life.

I am truly grieved today...grieved for what was then and what is now...wishing for "then" again...praying for those kind of days again.

I wonder if I can find the Walton's again tonight....maybe see if my girls could watch it with me..

Father God, Holy God, forgive those of us who have failed in this scared creation of yours...family.

Believing Him~Pamela

The Knots Prayer

I got this in an e-mail the other day....the timing could not be more perfect. May it grab your heart, your soul, and your mind as it did mine...

The Knots Prayer

Dear God,

please untie the knots

that are in my mind,

my heart

and my life.

Remove the have nots,

the can nots

and the do nots

that I have in my mind.

Erase the will nots,

may nots,

and might nots

that find a home in my heart.

Release me from the could nots,

would nots

and should nots

that obstruct my life.

And most of all, dear God,

I ask that you remove from my mind

my heart

and my life

all of the am nots

that I have allowed to hold me back,

especially the thought

that I am not good enough.

Amen.

~Anonymous

Believing Him~Pamela

What would others say?

From a reading in one of my quiet times ...

"If someone unfamiliar with God were to describe-from observation alone-your relationship with God, what words might he or she select?" (Intimate Conservations: Devotions to nurture a woman's soul" by Alicia Britt Chole).

Whoa...think about it. What do others see when you are walking down the market isles, driving into work on those busy highways, or sitting in that pew at your place of worship? What does your family observe at home?
Would they say God is your Master? Father? Business Partner? Coach? Santa Clause? Other?

The name of the LORD is a strong tower; the righteous run to it and are safe. ~Proverbs 18:10

You may have all types of christian objects surrounding you (crosses on the wall, scripture verse plaques, fish decals on a car, even Bibles lying out on a table) but do others see the difference in your life that Christ has made?

I have been looking more closely at my life as a wife, a mother, a servant of God and I do not like what I am seeing. The longer I look the more SELFISHNESS I see. I am afraid I have been an ordinary wife, an ordinary mother and an ordinary servant of God. It is easy to be ordinary...Encarta.com defines ordinary as being

"common: of a common everyday kind; unremarkable: not remarkable or special in any way, and therefore uninteresting and unimpressive; usual or customary".

Yelp...that's me...just getting by as a mother and wife. My energy is sucked out of me at the end of my work day and I am literally on empty and not able to meet their needs. My tolerance is worn thin with such little things it seems. I feel so selfish when I think back to a nothing kind of evening and what I should have been doing with the ones I love the most.

Spiritually I feel unremarkable. Daily I spend time with God in the early morning hours and I call on Him throughout my day...but nothing above and beyond is happening. I mean seriously, all these long drives to meet my parents at their home to go to the Dr's office with them and not a word from God in those times of silence. He has had the perfect opportunity to speak to me-literally-but all I seem to get these days is silence. I feel selfish when my mind can not focus on Him but instead jumps to everything else surrounding my life. I miss ministry, I miss belonging to a church family, I miss being involved.

So whats a selfish mid-life women to do? I guess I need to turn this ordinary around and become extraordinary by God's grace by a purifying of my heart and mind. I have to believe it can happen! My husband says I'm my worst critic but selfishness is a pretty ugly thing and not a characteristic found in the extraordinary woman. I pray that as I enter into this new day, into this new week, that I know in myself I will only be ordinary, and in Christ I can become extraordinary!! To be extraordinary Encarta defines us as:

"unusually excellent and deserving attention and comment because of being wonderful, strange, or shocking; additional and having a special purpose; employed for a special purpose or to do additional work; additional to and going beyond the ordinary or established scope of something."

I want to be all these things..wonderful, excellent, having a special purpose, greater, going beyond, even shocking...for God and for my family. I want others to see Christ in me, to see Him for all the things He has become...but primarily to see Him as my Master.

So here's what I want you to do, God helping you: Take your everyday, ordinary life—your sleeping, eating, going-to-work, and walking-around life—and place it before God as an offering. Embracing what God does for you is the best thing you can do for him. Don't become so well-adjusted to your culture that you fit into it without even thinking. Instead, fix your attention on God. You'll be changed from the inside out. Readily recognize what he wants from you, and quickly respond to it. Unlike the culture around you, always dragging you down to its level of immaturity, God brings the best out of you, develops well-formed maturity in you. ~Rom 12:1-2 (The Message)

What would others say about you and your relationship with God?????

His Maidservant~Pamela

Salt of the Earth....

Matthew 5:13-16 (NKLJV)
Believers Are Salt and Light

“You are the salt of the earth; but if the salt loses its flavor, how shall it be seasoned? It is then good for nothing but to be thrown out and trampled underfoot by men. “You are the light of the world. A city that is set on a hill cannot be hidden. Nor do they light a lamp and put it under a basket, but on a lampstand, and it gives light to all who are in the house. 16 Let your light so shine before men, that they may see your good works and glorify your Father in heaven.

Four times this past week this passage has come to my attention...in my daily devotion time...in a sermon...on-line...even on facebook!! As my husband and I have have struggled through a difficult period in our ministry life and service to God, we have have been inquiring of God what we did wrong, where we made a wrong decision, vs if others were wrong. I have asked Him to be bold with His answer. I guess you can not get any bolder than having the same scripture coming to you that many times.

We are trying to embrace this period of respite but it is hard. We are doers-servers and teachers according to our spiritual gifts. I asked my husband as we read these verses in a Bible study we are doing together last night if maybe we had lost our saltiness. Have we become like the Israelites in the old testament wondering in a desert because we have not followed God fully. He agreed and stated "I feel so worthless..." and so do I.

Though our ministries appeared to be growing and seemed to be very active...had we allowed "something" into our lives to take away the salty savor that God needed in us so we could be affective for Him and not just for the ministries? This is so difficult to face even as I write these words...

Direct my footsteps according to your word; let no sin rule over me. ~ Psalm 119:133

Is it possible to loose ones saltiness while being so active in ministry? I'm afraid we have had to face that reality and humbly acknowledge the tolerance of things in this world we have allowed into our personal lives. This tolerance, big or small as it might appear from outsiders, now requires this time of respite... to re-group, to recommit and to more importantly remove any hindrance that have dulled our ability to serve God. Like the Israelites in Deuteronomy 30,we have allowed other "things" to really take priority of our lives and it seems it has become a road block for God's purposes.

Have you ever been in my shoes? Can you related? We are on a pilgrimage and we are holding on to the promises God gave to the Israelites in Deut. 30:2-3....

"...and when you and your children return to the LORD your God and obey him with all your heart and with all your soul according to everything I command you today, then the LORD your God will restore your fortunes and have compassion on you.."

Our fortune was serving in ministry and we miss it terribly. We know that when we return to Him with a full heart and soul commitment He promises restoration and compassion. We became to busy to see our feet slipping and now these two things are what we need the most right now.

One of the worst things we could have done is to not give God our all. We have never been more grieved over this along with our past failures and sins than we are today and we have never been more committed to get it right so that we can once again be salt and light in this world for His eternal proposes...not ours, not the ministries...HIS.

Holy God, restoring and compassionate Father, full of mercy and grace, embrace your servants. Allow us to rest on your shoulders during this time of respite. Allow us to grieve our mistakes and to grow from them becoming more capable of being a vessel you can use. We want to be a a man and a women after your own heart but we are weak, we lose focus, even when we think we are spiritually strong. we are nothing without You, we are everything in You. Help me to be the supportive mate my husband needs right now, to complement and build him up as he too is beat down by this. I have seen you use him and work through him and it humbled me. Do it again Lord. Do it again...for Your eternal purposes and Your glory alone.~Amen

Nevertheless....

I love finding nuggets of blessings in a freshly read verse in the bible....you know, a little nugget of truth from God's Word that tugs at your heart at that right moment. Or a scriptural nugget of promise when your are feeling low and in need of hope for your situation. Or how about that nugget of instruction tucked away in a very familiar Bible passage seen with a new insight. For me, it's better than a warm cup of coffee first thing in the morning or a Dove chocolate in mid-afternoon to boost me through the day!

Yesterday, I found this sweet scriptural nugget for my soul as I was flying back home on Midwest Airlines. It is from a very familiar story...one told many times in my Sunday school years and in the pulpit of the preachers I have been blessed to be under. Take a few moments to read it and live in its moment. Then dwell for a minute on the bolded word that captured my attention and let it capture yours...

Luke 5 (NKJV)
1And it came to pass, that, as the people pressed upon him to hear the word of God, he stood by the lake of Gennesaret,
2And saw two ships standing by the lake: but the fishermen were gone out of them, and were washing their nets.
3And he entered into one of the ships, which was Simon's, and prayed him that he would thrust out a little from the land. And he sat down, and taught the people out of the ship.
4Now when he had left speaking, he said unto Simon, Launch out into the deep, and let down your nets for a draught.
5And Simon answering said unto him, Master, we have toiled all the night, and have taken nothing: nevertheless at thy word I will let down the net.
6And when they had this done, they inclosed a great multitude of fishes: and their net brake.
7And they beckoned unto their partners, which were in the other ship, that they should come and help them. And they came, and filled both the ships, so that they began to sink.
8When Simon Peter saw it, he fell down at Jesus' knees, saying, Depart from me; for I am a sinful man, O Lord.
9For he was astonished, and all that were with him, at the draught of the fishes which they had taken:
10And so was also James, and John, the sons of Zebedee, which were partners with Simon. And Jesus said unto Simon, Fear not; from henceforth thou shalt catch men.
11And when they had brought their ships to land, they forsook all, and followed him.

Nevertheless...have you noticed that word there before? Every other translation reads with "but" or "because" which does not depict the value of the action here. It really is a powerful statement....nevertheless...Jesus spoke and a heart and a will responded. Nevertheless...God is revealed and a life is changed for the eternal. Nevertheless represents faith...it represents obedience...it is an obedient faith.

No matter how many different directions I am being pulled in, no matter how many failures I fall to, no matter how many rejections I face....nevertheless, at Thy word I believe...I walk forward in faith because God is good and so very faithful!! Obedient faith is a choice. Can you say nevertheless today?

Believing Him~Pamela

Please be sure to pray for Elaine at Peace for the Journey as she begins her battle with breast cancer. Thank you!

Scriptural Weapons

Do you feel like you play mind games with your past? You know, those haunting memories of past mistakes that satan likes to throw at us when we are at our best, or, at our worst for that matter. Thrown at us to knock us off course from the truth of God's forgiveness and grace. Know what I am talking about? Surely I am not alone in this. The mind is a powerful thing to behold and many a battles can occur there. These battles have the power to destroy a person mentally, physically, and spiritually. Satan knows if he can play with our thoughts and actually affect our well-being, he wins against our creators control and ownership of us.

There are so many great Bible studies out now dealing with this very subject and I think it would benefit us significantly to explore these studies. Even without these studies though we have a weapon readily available for us. Daily I fight him in this area but I have the one weapon he cannot win against and that's the Word of God!!

Now may the God of peace make you holy in every way, and may your whole spirit and soul and body be kept blameless until our Lord Jesus Christ comes again. ~ 1 Thess 5:23 (NLT)

God knew this battle would not be easy for us. He knew that with each insult, each attack that if we would handle it with His Word we would gain so much more...such as holiness...scantification...victory. This is His aim for us.

But thank God! He gives us victory over sin and death through our Lord Jesus Christ. So, my dear brothers and sisters, be strong and immovable. Always work enthusiastically for the Lord, for you know that nothing you do for the Lord is ever useless. ~ 1 Cor. 15:57-58 (NLT)

Be strong and immovable...even in our thought life. One guaranteed way to do this is through scripture. I love praying back scripture. I started doing this years ago after reading and studying through Beth Moore's book "Praying God's Word". It has been the best salve, the best medicine for my body, my mind and my soul. So this morning as I was contemplating this subject on my ride in to work, I knew I needed a piece of scripture to put to memory to fight against satan every time he planted a thought into my mind referencing my past failures that had the potential to destroy my well-being. He, God, gave it to me and I give it to you challenging you to also put it to your memory and throw it at satan every time he attacks your mind:

You have forgiven the iniquity of Your people; You have covered all their sin. Selah ~ Psalm 85:2

Just what I need every time my past failures are brought before me...a reminder that I am forgiven! Believing this, I can throw back this verse to him verbally as his fiery insults and untruths attempt to penetrate my well-being. Even more what I appreciate about this verse is how it ends. Selah. Peace. Yes, peace...what we obtain when we use this verse as a weapon. Try it!

If you have a favorite verse you like to use as a weapon against satans attacks, please share it here. We can never have too many scriptural weapons these days.

Believing Him~ Pamela