Thursday, April 29, 2010

A Really Bad Day...

How is it that one can have such a really bad day when it is so beautiful outside? Remove the high winds and it would be a perfect day...outside. I am not a whinner, and I tend to not share too much personal but gals, I have one of those attitudes that needs to be driven out of me like a seance! Seriously, I am ready to call a priest or a Ghost Buster! I have never said so many "in the name of Jesus" than I have this week. I have cried it, I am ready to yell it.

Painful chaos has enter my home, disrupting our family...who am I is trying to destroy us and its grip is so strong for two people who serve the Lord. I don't get it. Why is it so hard this time? Grace and forgiveness comes with a possible loss. Did I really sign up for this when I said "I do" to my husband or I said to God in a commitment 6 years ago "I am the Lord's servant...may it to be to me as you have said" (Luke 1:38).

Yes. YES. YES!! is the right answer I know but I do not know how I am crawling out of bed each morning except for the fact that I have something calling me. I can't wait to get to it because I know a peace and calm comes to me in my pain and chaos. I started a new job that requires more out of me and earlier mornings with an hour drive time to the office and back. Can you imagine that it is the drive time that I so eagerly look forward to? Seriously sister!

I had to move my morning Bible study times to the evening...not crazy about that yet but when I get in the car each morning I now have a new quiet time and its working (and I didn't have faith at first that I could adapt to this change). First, I listen to one Christan song on the radio. I search for a praise song. It sets my mind. Then I open my spiral scripture cards and start in the back where I have chosen scripture to pray over special areas in my life. Sometimes I pray the scripture as it is written, other times I personalize it. Here are a few of the areas:

Family unity....
How good and pleasant it is when [families] live together in unity! ~ Ps. 133:1
And over all these virtues put on love, which binds them all together in perfect unity. ~ Col. 3:14

For our parenting...
Those who fear the Lord are secure; he will be a refuge for their children. [Lord help us be god-fearing and help us be a place of refuge for our children]
~ Prov. 14:26
...let us not love with words or tongue but with actions and in truth. ~ 1 Jn. 3:18
For our girls...
[Father God} circumcise [our] hearts and the hearts of your [girls], so that you may love [you] with all your heart and with all your soul, and live [together in unity]. ~ Deut. 30:6

For adversity...
He is my constant source of stability.
~ Isa. 33:6
The Lord is my security. He will keep my foot from being caught in a trap.
~ Prov. 3:26
For ministry...
...Spirit of the [God speak] through me; [place your] words on my tongue. ~
2 Sam. 23:3
Oh, that you would bless me and enlarge my territory! Let your hand be with me, and keep me from harm so that I will be free from pain." And God granted his request. ~ 1 Chron. 4:10
For my mouth...
my lips will not speak wickedness, and my tongue will utter no deceit.
~ Job 27:4
The mouth of the righteous utters wisdom; his tongue speaks what is just.
~ Ps. 37:30
She speaks with wisdom, and faithful instruction is on her tongue. ~ Prov. 31:26
Set a guard over my mouth, O LORD; keep watch over the door of my lips.
~ Ps. 141:3
Then I go to my scripture memory verses in my spiral and say them over and over until I have again committed them to my mind and soul and then I pray them back (you can see these scripture on the right side bar of this blog). It usually takes me the full trip in. My spiral rest over the center of the steering wheel so perfectly. It changes me. It equips me, it fuels me. I have to repeat this process on the way home and sometimes I use my scripture spiral from last year. It is difficult right now to enter into our home with the attitude He wants me to have. I am still struggling with this and I don't want to give up.
Am I in spiritual distress? Yeal. Got all the signs don't I? Grief.
Its beautiful outside. I want it to be beautiful inside me. My heart is ugly and I am in the biggest battle of my life. Yet I desperately cling to my faith that He will help me over come because I beleive Him and the words of Jeremiah 32:17...
Ah, Sovereign LORD, you have made the heavens and the earth by your great power and outstretched arm. Nothing is too hard for you.
Believing Him~Pamela

Thursday, April 22, 2010

Timothy's Letters2

This time last year I was engrossed in the readings of First Timothy. I found this entries on reserve, not yet completed for posting. I love going back to familiar scripture. The timing of this in my life now is so revitalizing and convicting. The timing is very painful too. Our family was hit with a crisis I never imagined. We are in ministry and this is not to happen. We love God, we serve Him, why...WHY were we not protected from this pain? In going back to a post yet to be published, this cherished gift of scripture and reflective thoughts gives me the "what" to my "why" in this moment......

I have used the following verses from 1 Timothy four as a prayer over our daughters many times. These verses are more than gold and so appropriate for our children today:

12Don't let anyone look down on you because you are young, but set an example for the believers in speech, in life, in love, in faith and in purity. 13Until I come, devote yourself to the public reading of Scripture, to preaching and to teaching. 14Do not neglect your gift, which was given you through a prophetic message when the body of elders laid their hands on you.
15Be diligent in these matters; give yourself wholly to them, so that everyone may see your progress. 16Watch your life and doctrine closely. Persevere in them, because if you do, you will save both yourself and your hearers.

And you have to love the Message version....

11-14Get the word out. Teach all these things. And don't let anyone put you down because you're young. Teach believers with your life: by word, by demeanor, by love, by faith, by integrity. Stay at your post reading Scripture, giving counsel, teaching. And that special gift of ministry you were given when the leaders of the church laid hands on you and prayed—keep that dusted off and in use.
15-16Cultivate these things. Immerse yourself in them. The people will all see you mature right before their eyes! Keep a firm grasp on both your character and your teaching. Don't be diverted. Just keep at it. Both you and those who hear you will experience salvation.

Strong instructions for any believer at any age really. So I challenge us as parents, as grandparents, as aunts, as we model this for our children? Are we teaching by our own life...

" word, by demeanor, by love, by faith, by integrity."
My husband and I have been convicted in our parenting of teenagers. It has been easy to let things slip with the girls, to grow tolerant, to grow weak if I dare say. But what legacy then do we leave them? They pulled away from God when we went through our individual divorces and satan has let them use that as an excuse...he has even landed that thought into our own thinking. In the name of Jesus NO MORE! We plan to fight for our girls and their spiritual lives. My friends, we must do as the Scripture says...
"...stay at your post reading scripture, giving counsel, teaching....cultivate these things...immerse yourself in them...keep a firm grasp on both your character and your teaching...don't be diverted...just keep at it..."
I don't know who may have needed to see these words. Maybe just me but there is definite wisdom here to live by, not just for our youth but for us also. FIGHT!!!!
Fight? I want to run and hide right now. But I have to instead walk awayfrom that question of 'why did God allow this crisis into our life'? Could it possibly be the way to bring us closer to each other, closer to Him? I am stepping away from my self pity and anger and exploring what God might have planned in this pain.
Trusting Him.
Believing Him.
Hoping in Him.
Believing Him~Pamela

Monday, April 12, 2010

Timothy's Letter's

I love reading the letters Paul wrote to Timothy. There is such wisdom. I recently was drawn to the following verses from 1 Timothy chapter one:

15 This saying is trustworthy and deserving of full acceptance: "Christ Jesus came into the world to save sinners"—and I am the worst of them. 16 But I received mercy because of this, so that in me, the worst [of them], Christ Jesus might demonstrate the utmost patience as an example to those who would believe in Him for eternal life. 17 Now to the King eternal, immortal, invisible, the only God, be honor and glory forever and ever. Amen.

These words I know speak to so many of us...

"sinners....and I am the worst of them..."

Even the purest of Christians will claim these words. Those who have found themselves in a pit, broken, or desperately at the end of ones own strength can also claim these words. Harsh words but words full of so much significance and meaning. Words that speak of eternal knowledge, spiritual enrichment and words that confirm ones confession to God. Yet there is such strength in the words that follow...

"...but I received mercy because of this"...

It is the significance of the cross and the suffering Christ took that has resulted in this unmeasurable mercy and grace. Humility come to mind here for me. His humility that has humbled me so. But it doesn't end there...

" that in me, the worst of them, Jesus Christ might demonstrate the utmost patience..."

Seriously, in me? In us? He loved us so much He created us in His imagine. And though we can really blow it sometimes He continues to cover us with His patience as we try to start over. But what I find even more amazing is that I, that you, the worst of sinners, can be used of God. This gives me hope! This excites my heart! This motivates me to seek Him more and to serve Him better! That I...

" an example to those who would believe in Him for eternal life.."

could be an example to others. That is His use us, our ugly stories to bring others to Him. That is the kind of kingdom work I want to be more involved in. Can there be a greater joy? Can there be a greater purpose for my life than this? Do you know this kind of joy? Captivating beyond any descriptive words I can place here.

My precious Jesus, I love you. I love you for allowing me to stumble and to fail so that I could become more intimate with You. I praise you for rescuing me from my own pit of shame and despair. I thank you for the renewed life I have in you. You are the oxygen in my breath, my hearts constant desire, my security in an insecure world. May my life boldly echo...

.."now to the eternal King, immortal, invisible, the only God, be honor and glory forever and ever. Amen"

Believing Him~Pamela

Monday, April 5, 2010

Follow The Leader!

Ladies....I have been swamped in a new Job and have so little time to linger here. I miss being in this blog world and soaking up your words from God. I know that many of you may be stopping by long after the Easter holiday but I wanted to share with you an e-mail devotional I received from one of our favorite youth speakers we have had at our camps....
He Finished So We Could Get Started!

John 19:30 NKJV
So when Jesus had received the sour wine, He said, “It is finished!”

During this season of Resurrection awareness, my mind has been doing some extra searching and digging on the traditions we follow. Like many, I grew up celebrating the holiday festivities that involved eggs, candy, church programs, and bunnies, yet I was often totally unaware of the call and commission of the bloody cross and empty tomb. Sure, we would give Jesus the credit for “getting up out of that grave,” but that was about all.

Today, however. I am seeing more to His story. Let me explain. When I read chapters 19 and 20 of John the other day I saw the Savior declaring a two-fold message. First, He was saying “I give my life to be the One, the First, to brave the sin-filled waters of human history and set the record straight.” Then, after rising from the grave, I hear Him saying, “Now it’s your turn. Get up and put your life on the line, don’t be afraid, you are in good company.” For me, that changed my attitude when it comes to the traditional festivities. This is no longer a time of “let’s celebrate as we remember what the Hero did.” And after we are finished eating, drinking and whatever else, we close down the subject until this time next year. Not so for me and my family, anymore.

It’s time to follow the leader and stop hiding behind what He did on the cross. Each of us has our own crosses to bear and graves to bust out of. That is why the Lord gave us the Holy Spirit to help us. The world will not shake and awake without us. I encourage you to join me. Quit tip-toeing around the perimeter of the water of sacrifice and suffering and jump in. Until we do, we will continue to blend in with the mediocre and mundane modern-day mayhem that consumes the culture of today. Don’t worry, God won’t let us drown. He finished, so we could get started.

Biblical Meditation: Romans 8:29 AMP For those whom He foreknew [of whom He was aware and loved beforehand], He also destined from the beginning [foreordaining them] to be molded into the image of His Son [and share inwardly His likeness], that He might become the firstborn among many brethren.

YES!! It's time to stop hiding behind what He did on that cross and to follow the LEADER!! I hope you were as blessed as I was with this take of the Easter message. To learn more about Lorenzo and his family ministry just click on his name.

Believing Him~Pamela