"What you're after is truth from the inside out" ~Psalm 51:6 (MSG)I love blog-land. I can express my heart and not really worry about poor outcomes or insults. If a reader doesn't agree they just don't comment and they don't come back. In some ways we are being hidden by our computer in that we can so easily express ourselves, sometimes better, than if we are face-to-face. At least for me that is ocassionally the case. As I stated above, God has convicted me to look into my soul for some time. A few days ago when I wrote my last post I felt like He was saying, "Pam, you sound like a broken record". My post are pretty much about moving beyond my past of being in a pit because of my sin, alone & rejected but redeemed through God's graces. I felt like He was saying "Isn't there more to you than your past? Wouldn't they (you the readers) want more from you than that? Have I not called you to comfort the weary and those who need to know My grace. Have I not morning by morning awaken you and opened your understanding to MY will so that it will guide you to share it here?" (Isaiah 50:4). So what is really going on inside my soul? Who is impersonating my reality?
For years I would walk by a mirror and never look at "me". Maybe it was out of shame or discontentment. Even when I would get ready in the mornings, I only saw what I was doing, how the hair was laying, the shading of my make-up, but never looked at "me". What is real about me? What is behind my eyes? What are my true feelings and where do they come from? Am I who others see me to be (big OUCH here)? Am I pretending to be something I am not? Am I hiding behind this 45 year old body? Are we afraid to be real, to be authentic? Will others truly accept us for who we are? Does that really matter? It has for me. I'm working on that.
I don't know about you ladies, but this may be a painful journey. I am thankful to have you, my blog friends, to walk this together, to lean on each other, and pray for each other. My soul craving is to be real-so very real that at the same time I am the sweetest aroma for Christ. I want my realness to build others up and bring them closer to the God I have come to cherish so. I am imperfect. I am not a writer, my spelling is awful and my computer skills are quickly becoming outdated but my heart...my heart and my inner soul is longing to be revealed. Not for me, but for my Lords glory. I hope as we painfully draw closer to achieving this authenticity, God will be magnified.
"The truth may initially hurt, but the truth may be the best thing that has ever happened to you." (pp.19)
Here's to living in truth and being authentic! Together!!
In the shadow of His cross~Pamela (Mrs JoeB)