Wednesday, February 4, 2009

Having A Bad Day

I'm having a bad day. I should have known better when I journaled "Lord, make me a loving considerate, and compassionate wife and mother". I lost it with my 9-year old when she started crying over her clothes this morning. Grief. She is the kind of kid that couldn't wear socks with a seam when she was younger and now she only will wear sweats or shorts because "jeans bother her legs"? WHAT? What girl does not like a pair of good fitting jeans? Old Navy has been good to us over the years but when she enters middle school I fear for her fashion sense. And God forbid if we buy her a shirt with long sleeves-"too tight on my arms". She is this dainty little thing...nothing is too tight! But I love her. I failed her again this morning (I prayed for God's forgiveness already).

Then I went to pick up my Beth Moore Esther order at the Lifeway store on a local college campus. They were at chapel so I had to wait. Made some errands to buy valentine gifts....found nothing.

Went to a local hospital to show a new clinical instructor around and the educator seemed to attack anything I would say. She is new there and to us. I finally just clammed up. I asked the new clinical instructor if I had said something wrong and he was clueless as to what I could have said to get the reactions we did from this person. So I pray for her. Who knows what is gong on in her life.

Then to end it all...Go to my daughters last game of the season that she is cheering at to find out her coach BENCHED HER!! She and another cheerleader went to sonic after practice and before the game. They got back 10 minutes late (Emma says she misunderstood the time they were to be back). The coach wouldn't let them (or the other girls they bought for) eat their food and told them to practice some more before the game. Not only did she have to sit out for the first half but she and her friend was not allowed to cheer on the floor between the third and forth quarter. My daughter is the one that does the cartwheels and is thrown up in the pyramid. NOPE. BENCHED. Just a bit dramatic (and the coach is related to my daughters dad-where is the family support???). Grief. Suppose I need to pray for her too but I don't want to.

I feel like a gremlin is inside waiting to explode out (and not the cute kind). WHY? I don't like feeling this way. God has been so good. I have been memorizing my scripture. I have been trying to live honorably and just. Then today I have been hit with nothing but negativity. And now I have a headache!

So I pray. There is somehow peace when I pray... is that so like our Lord?

A co-worker stated there is some things she just doesn't pray for herself because of how she gets hit with it later (like my prayer for myself this morning-instant failure). She said she instead will ask her friends to pray those things for her. Will you friend? Pray I will be loving, considerate, and compassionate wife and mother. Pray this negativity will not win out and steal the joy God has been giving me.

May my prayer be set before you like incense; may the lifting up of my hands be like the evening sacrifice. ~ Psalm 141:2

Yes...our prayers for those who cause us grief and our prayer for those we love are an incense to our Lord. It pleases Him.

So I continue to pray. What else am I to do?

His Maidservant~Pamela


Yolanda said...

You, YOU, are to know you are loved, forgiven and used MIGHTILY for the Kingdom of God.

THAT is the very reason why, the enemy came roaring when the test came, because he knows WHOSE Hand you are holding, WHOSE HAND holds you....GOD - Christ Jesus - Holy Spirit.

Yes, I am holding up your arms just like Aaron and Hur. Why? Because I know who you are...You are the Daughter of the MOST HIGH KING and because of that, Sister, grab your armour and wield that sword.

And...keep doin' the "thang"

I love ya!

LisaShaw said...

Precious Pamela, I began praying from your first sentence. I know that God hears our prayers for one another and I'm honored to pray for you BUT...

I also want to say to you, don't stop praying those things for yourself out of fear!! Don't allow the devil to block your ability from seeking God about those types of character growing, Christ-centering traits that you desire within yourself.

We will be challenged but that's ok. You're not a failure! Every time I pray about patience I'm challenged soon thereafter but you know what I learn and grow each time from it. I want to encourage you in that. You are special to GOD and when you seek our Father for something that makes you more like the image of His Son, our Lord, don't fear the pruning that will come. It's for our good not for our harm.

Yes, you had a very difficult and trying day but through it all GOD was with you and in the end your family is well and everyone is home and safe and God's love is shinning down on each one of you because YOU ARE ALL SO SPECIAL TO HIM.

I'm standing with you my sister in Christ and keeping you covered in prayer. Remember, when we can't walk beside the LORD it is then HE carries us. Allow Him to carry you now.

I love you.

HIS Daughter said...

I really wish I could give you a huge hug!! I feel all of that pain, Girlfriend!

I know for sure since Sunday evening, I've been attacked and blindsided and then of all things a spirit of fear I haven't felt in months and months.

We will not be afraid. We will not be dismayed or distressed...We will be strong and we will take courage...The LORD Our GOD goes before us, to fight for us...and girlfriend..HE never, ever leaves us down and out in a battle..

A bunch of girls against the enemy...we are with the first punch...BUT, Daughters of The King...forget it...The War HAS been won...Every battle is just to strengthen us..

I love you, Princess,

Paula (SweetPea) said...

Don't they say that when we are active in the Lord that it when the enemy roars at us? You are memorizing scriptures being obedient to the Lord and faithful and boom! Chapter five of Self Talk, Soul Talk was exactly about this...the enemy prowling around like a roaring lion.

Do not loose heart, sweet one.

Prayer is the most powerful thing you and we can do.

Stay strong in Him. He is your strength when you are weak. Amen.

Julie Coleman said...

Hi Pamela:
This is my first visit to your blog. I can totally relate to your frustrations as a mom-- I'd rather be hit with difficulty a thousand times than have my kids suffer. Yet these difficulties are what God uses to grow us to maturity. So we endure, trusting Him in everything. Thanks for your candid sharing! Hang in there.

elaine @ peace for the journey said...

I'm laughing my head off over here. Sorry for your bad day, but certainly relieved that I am not the only one.

Some days are like that. Some days are not.

Put your head down (a good posture for all of us on every occasion) and mow through. Today will be better.

PS: When they called yesterday morning for another snow day (mind you, nothing on the ground), I would have smacked any school official on the spot if I had seen them. I'm not kidding. I think this is one of the reasons God keeps me at home...the safety and well-being of others!!!

elaine @ peace for the journey said...

OK...feeling bad now. Everyone else had the spiritual take. I just laughed. Is that ok?


~*~KIMBERLY~*~ said...

Dear Father God, I lift up Pamela to YOU. I pray that You would reach in among the blahs and grab her with You ever loving arms and caress her soul and heart with Your grace & mercy wiping away the negativity. Lord, You know, that's just the devil picking at her. I pray that the devil get out, in Jesus' name. Thank You Father God for Pamela and her words to show us that Your children have bad days and that You, our comforter, can bring us through it all. In Jesus' name, amen.

Stacey said...

Hi Pamela! I am new to your blog, but I have to say, thank you for being so real! I appreciate your honesty. Thank you.

Carol said...


Oh I will pray for you, and you can pray the same for me. When you wrote about your 9 year old, it's like I wrote it myself. My daughter is the exact same with clothes. Still puts her socks on inside out because of the seams. Only wears flip flops or slip on mocisans I found for winter, because all other shoes are to tight or they bother her. Jeans nope no way, only sweats and shorts, long sleeves on ocasion. They would be best friends if they met. And some days it just drives me batty. I'm so glad to know I'm not the only one.

I know what you mean by those days. I have days were I feel like I was hit by the negative truck. I will hold you up in prayer sweet sister. What a day you've had. Thanks for being so honest.

Our God is bigger than any negative thoughts or people that come our way.