The Proverbs 31 Journey: Submission

Scripture meditation/memory verse: "Be completely humble and gentle; be patient, bearing with one another in love. " ~ Eph 4:2

There is a chapter in the book "Seven Principles for Every Woman" co-authored by Sharon Jaynes and Lysa Terkuerst (2001). One chapter, Chapter 8 to be specific, written by Sharon James should be a must read for all brides. The title of this chapter is "Leader: The Gift Only a Wife Can Give"(everything in pink in this entry is quoted from within this chapter). What a great topic as the Valentine holiday approaches!! Think about that title...think about that gift.

Most woman in the world avoid or shun that word submission. It can carry so many negative inclinations when God really meant for it to be a beautiful gift. So we will look at it from that perspective...a beautiful gift. I like to think that a submissive wife result in a wife that compliments her husband and isn't that what we were created for?

Now the Lord God said, It is not good (sufficient, satisfactory) that the man should be alone; I will make him a helper meet (suitable, adapted, complementary) for him. ~ Genesis 2:18 (Amplified)

Think about the role of a helper, of someone who compliments another...it is a position of honor. There are some great examples of this in scripture. David called on God to be his helper on many occasions:

"LORD, listen and be gracious to me; LORD, be my helper." ~ Ps 30:10 (HCSB)

A helper was reference by Christ to the Holy Spirit:

And I will pray the Father, and He will give you another Helper, that He may abide with you forever—" ~ John 14:16 (NKJV)

These are big shoes to follow but since we are made in his image, He has equipped us with the ability to be a helpmate...a compliment.

So God created man in His own image; in the image of God He created him; male and female He created them. ~ Genesis 1:27

So borrowing from Sharon's chapter, lets focusing on Ephesians 5:33 in the Amplified version and see how we can be the helper and compliment He has created us to be for our man (and if you are single then it would be for your God!):

However, let each man of you [without exception] love his wife as being in a sense] his very own self; and let the wife see that she respects and reverences her husband that she notices him, regards him, honors him, prefers him, venerates, and esteems him; and that she defers to him, praises him, and loves and admires him exceedingly].

Sharon writes for us to "look at the directives in this verse and their opposites to see how we stack up". Are you ready for the challenge?

Do we respect or do we show contempt?
Do we reverence or do we dishonor?
Do we notice or do we ignore?
Do we regard or do we disregard?
Do we honor or do we humiliate?
Do we prefer or do we exclude?
Do we venerate or do we belittle?
Do we esteem or do we mock?
Do we defer or do we usurp?
Do we praise or do we criticize?
Do we love or do we hate?
Do we admire or do we ridicule?

Here's another question...does submission mean a woman who compliments her man cannot offer advise or wise counsel? The opposite is true according to our memory verse above. I have cherished the times my husband has sought my opinion and thoughts.

In this chapter Sharon also points out that we have three choices when it comes to submission...we can

1. Lovenly submit to our husbands and support them in their leadership.
2. Begrudgingly submit to our husbands, complete with pouting, sulking, cold shoulders, nonverbal hostility, and a bounty of "I told you so's" if their decisions turn out unfavorably.
3. Refuse to submit, thereby winning the battle but chipping away at the foundation of the marriage.

Wives, in the same way, submit yourselves to your own husbands so that, even if some disobey the [Christian] message, they may be won over without a message by the way their wives live." ~ 1 Peter 3:1

Every marriage is different and every man is created differently but the rules apply to all. There are some homes where the man does not take the initiative to be the leader in their home. Then what? I believe the verse above states strongly that if a woman is willing to be submissive, to compliment her husband and follow God's direction, that in time her submission will draw him into that leadership. There are women who have lived this out to reality!!

Allowing your husband to be the leader is truly a gift from you. Compliment him ladies. It takes work but in the end, your rewards will be so much greater-a happier marriage, a more secure home, and contentment! And lets not forget that you will develop a closer relationship with God. Dare I say that if you compliment your husband you also compliment God?!?!?

Here are some more scripture for you to meditate on this week:

Song of Songs 2:16

John 14:15-16

1 Cor. 11:13

Col. 3:18

Eph. 5:22

1 Tim 2:11

Several years ago my husband and I went away on our anniversary to our favorite cabin in the woods. We took with us two little book written Lysa Terkeurst: "Capture His Heart" and "Capture Her Heart". My husband read and made comments on the book "Capture His Heart", and I did the same for "Capture Her Heart". Then we gave the appropriate book to each other. Just today I was flipping through the pages reading my mans remarks to what he found to be so true to his life from those written words. I encourage you to do this this with your man....it does not matter how long you have been married or how good your marriage is. These books have become a "manual" to our mates need and hearts desires.

This week, make an effort to compliment your man and your God!! Next week we tread on in this journey of looking at our marriages exploring that trust factor...see you then!

Believing Him~Pamela