Live Out Loud...that has been my motto for this year. I have been hit with a lot of internal realizations of how silent my life has been for God. I am too embarrassed to identify those here but my heart just down right aches over it.
This year has been more defined by chaos than anything else. Oh, it could be worse and I am thankful that its not. But the reality was I had come to a point of throwing my hands up in the air and screaming "Seriously God?!?!"
We have all felt that way at times and we all get through it, right? I seriously don't know how people live without faith in God, our Creator. It is in my chaos that my heart yearns to reach out to just those people...people suffering with the same sufferings of my own life but without the Ultimate Healer. My soul desires to serve and minister to the chaotic lives of my fellow humans because there is a Peace that surpasses all understanding in all of it.
And the peace of God, which surpasses every thought, will guard your hearts and minds in Christ Jesus. ~ Phil 4:7 (HCSB)
Chaos will control my thoughts when I allow it. It deprives me of my spiritual, mental and physical well-being. This past week I allowed chaos's grip to do just that. Late one night when I couldn't sleep I was skimming through my favorite on-line book store and I came across this book an Internet friend Jenny Smith had recently wrote...
Could the timing had been more appropriate? Had I not just said the words on this book cover before turning on my computer? Yes. Parts of my life may be crumbling around me and stress levels may be higher than they have ever been and my God puts this book cover in front of my eyes and delivered it to my mailbox in a record two days! I read the title and that still quiet voice drew me to the words "I hear you, now hear Me."
I have made it to page seven and I have had to stop and ponder this sentence God laid on Jenny Smith's heart. She is referencing the crowd that was following Jesus in John 6...
"Instead of recognizing and embracing the fullness of the Provider they were stuck concentrating on the provisions"
Christ had performed a tremendous miracle by feeding the 5000 and how did the people respond? They followed Him for the miracle, not for who He was. They were a people desperate for a Savior, living chaotic lives and all they wanted was the miracle. When there wasn't more...they walked away.
Ouch. My heart grieves.
How many times have I prayed for the miracle in my chaos more concerned on the provision than the Provider? How many times have I asked God to go above and beyond in my life for my own desires, maybe not His?
Do I not see Him in the chaos? Am I not praising and worshiping Him for who He is anyway? Do I not thank Him for the blessing I have in spite of my chaos? Am I any different than these people who walk away from Jesus when I turn from scripture and allow the chaos to consume me more?
How many times must one walk down that road to know the calm in chaos is all about resting in Him and His Word? I KNOW THAT yet in my selfishness, all too often I choose to fret over the situation even when I reach for the Scripture.
The fullness of God in my life and my reaction to Him...appreciation, praise, love, thankfulness, more importantly.....SELFLESSNESS.
"Gratitude is the seed for more of God in your life" ~ Jentezen Franklin
Living out loud is selflessness. The chaos is all about me. The Peace that surpasses all understand is all about Him.
I love those God moments in my life. I want others to see that in their chaos. My heart yearns, my heart grieves, and my heart is humbled that God gives me this chaos to learn from and then to reach out to others through.
Do not labor for the food which perishes, but for the food which endures to everlasting life, which the Son of Man will give you, because God the Father has set His seal on Him.” ~ John 6:27 (NKJV)
Father, Abba, my Holy and Sovereign God, I praise you for you and all that you are. Last week when I stood before that massive ocean, I sense your power and majesty. In my chaos I praise you for that same power and majesty of who you are. Use my chaos to draw me closer to you and to draw others to you. Lord, I am tired of being selfish...guide me to live selflessly for you. I want to follow you for who you are, not just for what you do in my chaos. ~ Amen
Striving to Live Out Loud ~ Pamela