Sunday, March 13, 2011

She Speaks Scholarship Contest


I am writing this post in an attempt to win a scholarship for the above conference. As I sit in front of my laptop remembering the summer of 2008 and my first trip to North Carolina to attend the She Speaks Conference, I am flooded with emotions. God's hand was all over that trip. I was only 3 years fresh from a "pit" experience I had gotten myself into. Spiritual and mental healing had not yet occurred for me. There was no way I could afford to go on our budget then but God provided me with a community scholarship at the college where I was a professor that covered it all! Each step on the way there and each step of our ministry journey since then has had His covering all over it!

I will never forget the emotions I went through as I left for this trip...this experience of healing and re-birth. I remember the stripping off of myself, my past, as the plane took off. I was scared, scared of what God had in store for me and scared of my past. I was determined to leave behind the old me. The event was phenomenal and I came back literally transformed. I came back home equipped and renewed...more confident of what God has called me too. You can read about it here. As the plane took off for home I wanted to shout "charge"...and charge forward is just what I was able to do.

O Sovereign LORD, you have begun to show to your servant your greatness and your strong hand. For what god is there in heaven or on earth who can do the deeds and mighty works you do?~Deuteronomy 3:24

Oh how I have enjoyed this morning re-visiting that event.
That year at She Speaks I did a variety of classes in the various tracks of She Writes, She Leads, She Speaks & Blogging. I wasn't sure that one track was for me and God blessed me in every one. What mighty servants of God each of these speakers are! However, Renee Swope's key message "In the Shadow of the Cross" was the pivotal point between my God and me. A new kind of surrender for myself, being the greatest among sinners, occurred. I continue to watch this message yearly from the CD I bought to remind me of the significance of that night...that calling.

When I tearfully got up from my knees under that wooden cross that evening, one of the P31 ladies handed me a card with a word and scripture verse on it...it amazed me then (literally took my breath away as I read it) and continues to amaze me now:


The word: secure


The Scripture: "Let the beloved of the LORD rest secure in him, for He shields him all day long, and the one the LORD loves rests between his shoulders." ~Deuteronomy 33:12


And that was the beginning of a most amazing journey of security in my God. A perfect word and scripture for my life at that time. I have remained SECURE in Him as I have journeyed in ministry and in life. I carried that scripture card around with me everywhere as a reminder of His message to me. A little more than a year ago God whispered for me to give that scripture card to a lady in our church fighting cancer. She has cherished it as much as I did...that little card continues to journey into other hands today.

[The Servant of God says] The Lord God has given me the tongue of a disciple and of one who is taught, that I should know how to speak a word in season to him who is weary. He wakens me morning by morning, He wakens my ear to hear as a disciple [as one who is taught]. Isa 50:4 (Amplified)

God has been so good to me and has used me in some power ministries since then. Though I am not worthy, He has grown my heart and my spiritual discipline in new and amazing ways. But I have to let you know, satan has fought back hard...very hard.
And in those times, I have to remembered Gods call and I have learned to cling to His Word for strength.

I found myself in leadership following that conference in 2008, primarily woman's ministry and Bible study. It's been a beautiful time of serving Him but God has called us to a new church in the last few months.
It seems that God likes to place us in churches that are in need. He uses us to grow a ministry and and then ask us to move on. Though I do not understand this move (our youth ministry was the largest it has ever been and the community bible study I initiated was flourishing), I know I only want to be in His will.

I see that there is such a need for these women here in this new church we are attending. So, we, I, am waiting on His timing and His word for what He wants me to do here. My heart just pounds at the potential work!! I have hit rock bottom in the past and have tasted His mercy and grace. It was so good and it has caused me to want to serve Him fully and be an avenue in which others can experience His mercy and grace and learn to passionately love our God!

The Spirit of the Sovereign LORD is on me,
because the LORD has anointed me
to proclaim good news to the poor.
He has sent me to bind up the brokenhearted,
to proclaim freedom for the captives
and release from darkness for the prisoners,
to proclaim the year of the LORD’s favor
and the day of vengeance of our God,
to comfort all who mourn,
and provide for those who grieve in Zion—
to bestow on them a crown of beauty
instead of ashes,
the oil of joy
instead of mourning,
and a garment of praise
instead of a spirit of despair.
They will be called oaks of righteousness,
a planting of the LORD
for the display of his splendor.
They will rebuild the ancient ruins
and restore the places long devastated;
they will renew the ruined cities.
~Isa: 61:1-4

I feel a new need for renewed training to better equip me for this new journey. So I write these words trusting God in this. I know that She Speaks is more than just a Christian woman's conference. It is an avenue for transformation. It is an event that will equip you beyond what you can imagine. I know it-I have experienced it! It is an open door for His plan in your life.

I know your deeds. See, I have placed before you an open door that no one can shut. I know that you have little strength, yet you have kept my word and have not denied my name.~Rev. 3:8

The spirit of God is all over every component of this event. You will see Him, you will hear Him and you will fellowship with Him. He will work through you in some of the most amazing ways if you submit and are obedient and willing to follow His direction. I am at this crossroad again...waiting for His word, His sending....

Are you in need of meeting God and finding re-direction for His calling in your life? Is your hearts desire to serve Him fully? She Speaks is the next step. My passion in woman's ministry and leadership remains alive and I know there is more for me to do. He is opening a new door...I sense it. This conference holds some valuable keys for all of us.
God willing, I hope to see you there.

Believing Him~Pamela


4 comments:

elaine @ peace for the journey said...

Well now I hope you win! How well I remember our chocolate encounter and the friendship birthed since then.

One word from our Word... leading us to know his refreshing in full measure. Even so Lord, speak it!

peace~elaine

Pamela (His maidservant) said...

No...I would give it to you in a minute!! I love your friend!!

Pam

Patrina's Pencil said...

I hope you both win! Isn't there more than one scholarship?

This was a good write up . I've never been but someday would love to go. Sounds marvelous. I love the scriptures that you shared here. I needed them tonight.

I love the fact that the scripture card given to you as representation of your healing was shared with the next and the next - What a great thing that one little verse card became to not only you - but many.

It only takes a spark to get a fire going - comes to mind.

Have a blessed weekend
Patrina <")>><

Kathy S. said...

I was there that year. My word was FREE.

Indeed! I have gleaned from that experience ongoing. I have some of the cds and have listened over and over.

In the Shadow of the Cross is still a favorite song and the message was profound!
God bless you to go again, I am also considering going!
~Kathy