Friday, April 11, 2008


We are closing in on the end of the semester at the college where I teach and it gets hectic. This week I have found little time to blog-hop. There have been a couple of blogs I have been obsessed to visit t/o my days. Lelia's daughter finally made her a grandmother (! Congratulations Lelia and family! Beth Moore's cherished family pet Sunny came home ( funny how the things that mean so much can cause such drama in our life. I missed the blog-hoping this week but now see how special each of you are because of last night...

Last night while my husband watch the game in bed, sitting next to him I had the opportunity to visits some blogs. We finished a conversation about finances and I was feeling down. It had also been a rough week as a mother. Yesterday after the bickering between the younger girls and my poor reaction to it I had submitted my resignation as a mother to God as it was obviously a mistake on my part (He probably found humor in that, boy I hope). But those finances...God had really blessed us with our tax return to allow us to remodel our basement for living space. With our blended family and having downsized to this smaller home (that we so love), we need the space! But my husband had to use most of that money to make ends meet these past two months. The basement is partially done. He did state he donated a large sum of it to the church before all the other business took it over-God's money-which I am so thankful.

It became more of a stress for me though because I have been negotiating a part-time contract with the college. We had decided for financial reasons I would go back to bedside nursing and teach part-time because the college pays half of what I can make at a hospital. We had such a peace about it. It was going to allow me more time with the family and to also allow me to start my doctorate work. But this week, it all seems to be falling apart. A part-time contract is not looking favorable from the college. Insurances can't be included in the contract, and the health insurance offered through my husbands work is more than double what we have been paying. The college has also implied they will not replace my full time position within the nursing department I teach in if I go part-time or leave-the department can't afford that so another heavy weight on my shoulder.

So the peace left. The stress and weight of all these burdens replaced it. What about my plans for doctorate work? Less time working and more time at home? The college demands so much of my time compared to working 2-3 days a week at bedside nursing. More money is due for the She Speaks conference I felt God leading me to go to. Do I give that up? We have 6 kids and bills. Peace-wasn't that peace I had experienced before this week from God? Even when the meeting with the college dean did not look favorable for what I was asking, my co-worker commented on the peace I had with it. Why is it finances, poor mothering skills or work burdens can take that peace away? Why did I allow it to?

So last night in my discouragement, I went to my blog friends and quietly read your post. WHAT A BLESSING!! God guided each one of you to write your post for me. There was the post on trust ( ..."yes Lord, I will trust you in this. I am sorry I allowed my own heart to take over". There was the one on seeing God's will ( ..."my spiritual glasses are on Lord but I am not seeing it there a sin in my life preventing me from seeing your will? Show me the sin Lord, please, today, so that I can know your will for our jobs...this family". There were blog posting of comfort, humor & brokenness (, peace (, surrender (, transformation (, hope ( &, and praise ( & of who God is and what He can do in our life. Did I say WHAT A BLESSING?!?!?

Ladies, we have a wonderful ministry here in these blogs. Never hesitate to write what God puts on your heart because it may just be the one thing that helps to bring hope when there is despair, encouragement when there is overload, comfort when there is pain, laughter when there is so much sadness. Thank you for blessing me last night and helping me to see that it is in faith and hope that I will see God's plan in this situation I am facing. And pray for me as we have to make a financial decision regarding our jobs and providing what is best for this big beautiful family. I have peace again. I just need to see clearly His will in this decision.

You are a Blessing! I hope to get to know more of you and I apologize that I couldn't visit everyone I know in blog world or list you here today...I'm out of time!!!

In His Graces~Pamela


Yolanda said...

Miss Pamela:

I'm sitting here, quielty letting the tears flow and the shakes settle in, because God is using me. When I get myself out of the way, MY AWESOME GOD SPEAKS THROUGH ME. I have such a heart to help other women, and I simply can't believe how HE uses such a cracked pot to help such other LOVELY WOMEN like yourself! Peace, shalom, C.A.L.M.

I will be praying for you!

Love you immensley!

Amy said...

Pamela, as I write this to you there are tears streaming down my face.....
I needed this post and encouragement more than I could possibly express to you in this comment..
Thank you for taking the time today to write what was on your heart.
Satan has really been working overtime to try and discourage keep me from writing what the Lord puts on my heart. And I'm sorry to say, lately he has been very successful.
I'm glad the words God put in my heart encouraged you, and I thank you for saying so.
God used you to encourage me.
Thank you, Pamela.
God Bless,

Laura said...

You are such a blessing, Dear One! I am so touched by how openly you share your heart and your faith. Life is such a struggle sometimes, and our only hope is to renew our faith. You have helped me to do this today, friend! I am so grateful that we can encourage one another; you are so right about this being a special ministry.
I will be praying for your situation! We serve an awesome God, and He can do anything!

Tonya said...

Thank you for sharing that GOD allowed what I posted to bless you. I sometimes wonder if people get tired of hearing "the same ole thing" from me. Some days I can focus on "light things," and others.. well, it just all depends on where my heart takes me. (I so hope that GOD will use our trials to bless others) THANK YOU, for letting me know HE already has.

Love you!

A God Chaser said...

I am so blessed God used me to bless you. You are in my prayers

Kelley at Aroma of Joy said...

And you my friend have ministered to me here. We are feeling the financial crunch too and needing to make decisions about priorities with our money. Thanks for being so transparent and reminding me that we are all in this life to help and support one another! Meanwhile, I have been trying to remember: "His eye is on the sparrow...."


SweatPea said...

Hi Pamela,
I found your post through Broken Vessels (slywillie). I'm running short on time but I read over your posting from Friday. I also remember seeing your name Mrs JoeB and picture on Rachel Olsen's website.

If you get a chance, stop over at my blog. I posted a good encouragement on Hebrews 12. It's something the Spirit spoke to me several months ago.

Hope to see you soon!

Lelia Chealey said...

I sit here typing in an awkard position because I'm cradling my 5 day old granddaughter. You know, the one I didn't want 9 months ago when my teenager told us she was pregnant? YES, that one! Now I can't keep my eyes, hands & lips off of her.
God knows what we need in our lives & sometimes He allows us to go the long way before we arrive. Keep turning to Him my friend. Keep blessing Him with your words on your blog. Your heart is splashed all over this blog and it is evident Jesus is what makes your heart beat the way it does. You are passionate about Him & it shows in your concern for others, how you use your blog to point others to Him...just look at the topics of your posts~nothing but Jesus. When I found out on August 16th our teenager was pregnant I was devastated. Long journey and each step we took looked too hard & impossible. Jeremiah 32:17 Nothing is too hard for our God Pamela...not finances, unfinished basements or pregnant teens. He has all the answers up His sleeve. Keep seeking Him girlfriend because when He reveals what is up His sleeve for you & your family I have a feeling you'll be hitting your knees & lifting your arms in praise!
Love you much,

Susan said...

Hey There! Just checking in to say THANKS for wishing us well on the newest addition to the family. I can't wait to get some new pics of her. (I get to babysit FRIDAY! WOOHOO) =-)

Jenny said...

Miss Pamela,
Finances are tough, mothering is tough, I've reached the point where I realize life is just plan tough! But you are so right these blogs can provide encouragement! Sometimes it seems to hard to turn straight to God, but he puts real life people to point us to him and remind us that He is able~

I just wish the comment section had spellcheck because I can't spell at all!!

Hadassah said...

I'm so glad you were blessed. I was feeling "down" for you as I read the first part of this post.

I know you stop by my blog from time to time, and I'm so glad you do! Blogging has turned out to be such a unique way for me to minister to women I know personally, and woman I have never met face-to-face.

Sometimes I think about the irony of the internet, which carries so much sin and destruction into people's homes. But, also carries the light of truth and the joy of hope at the same time. All things for the glory of God!

elaine @ peace for the journey said...

I'm glad you came to visit today. struggle not alone. The stress of finances is a daunting concern for many families. We are one of them, but are living within God's provision each month.

I am sorry for your struggle. I know what it is to "hit" the proverbial brick wall with little relief in sight, but God knows my needs, and 42 years down the road, I've never gone without...not even during my season of single-motherhood.

The title of your blog "In His Graces" is exactly where God would have you to be this day...smack dab in the middle of his undeserving favor...a favor that is aware of all of your needs and a God who is more than willing to provide. So tonight, I am praying for you...

the "trust of Hagar" (Genesis 16) as you close your weary heart and eyes for a night's rest within the provision of God's abundant and "much" grace.

Be blessed!